Many times in the past weeks I have had the chance to really look at what is important. I guess I could say that this journey to find that which is important started many years ago.
The journey that has had many ups and downs. As a child I battled the demons that come from having a learning disorder. Did that stop me? No. I learned a lesson of never giving up on myself. I went off to college in hopes of becoming the best I could be. Only to hit road block that would for ever shape how I view LOVE. During this road block I was spared from death. The pain I battled took me to a low I never imagined. The events of the car wreck live deep in my brain. I can recall all of it as it was the day it happened. I can recall the cries of the little boy I nannied and trying to make sure his mom was ok. The days following the weck would not be easy on anyone around me. One of the things that got me thought the pain my body and heart were feeling was the truly unconditional love of my roommate Krista. She helped me know that in those times when only God loves us, we are still worth it. With out her unconditional love and that of my closest friends in collage. I would have never known how to love and also protect me from things that were toxic.
This week I have been reminded that God choice me. He gave me the Gift of two wonderful girl. He know the good and bad. He trusted me to care for them.
For some of you my days may seem like everyone else. But the trust be told I am always ready to make a new medical decision for Gracelyn. The last few weeks I never thought that protecting and making split second decision for Ava would mean placing our life on hold.
It all started as what I thought was night terrors. Ava was screaming uncontrolled at night. As the week went on I noticed that she was having times where she would space out (known as a gazing seizure). She also complained she was tired a lot. Then the spacing out became more and her anger got worse. As was trying to hurt me durning these times. I called the neurologist after a few days. After talking with him he felt her seizures where getting worse. He upped here medication. Since then we have noticed a decrease in the anger.
You might ask how this relates to everything. While first let me tell you that if God had not given us this gift I would not be who I am. A mother and wife. I would not get defensive over stupid people saying things about my children’s medical conditions. Without any of these events I would have never learned the value of those who love you for you and don’t try to change you. For those that carry me in my best and worse. My you know that you are The best Gift I can have this Christmas season.
